Click here for the link to the HPLive/HPCareer.net webex for my new book “The Nimble Negotiator: Beat Negotiation at its Own Game”. Learn to be present rather than flee or hide; to engage rather than react; to listen and seek clarity rather than simply confront. Please share your feed back!
Perhaps you are running the risk of losing a key client or relationship; or you need to keep on top form while your business is on a winning streak. It may be a work situation where you may be on the brink of promotion or perhaps have failed to secure the job you want. It can also be a personal situation that has you at the end of your tether.
There are three tips you can learn and start applying right now that will have the biggest impact on your success at asking for and getting what you want. They simply involve getting your head around how you ask.
‘Could’ to ‘Would’
‘Why can’t I?’ to ‘I Want’
‘I Wish’ to ‘I Intend’
‘I don’t think we have talked about this enough’
‘Would you schedule a meeting so we can talk about this in detail?’
‘Sorry, I don’t think this is going to work’
‘I have considered the idea and I am not interested in pursuing it’
‘Could you get this done tomorrow?’
‘Would you finish this by 5pm tomorrow?’
‘Why can’t I get a promotion?”
‘I want to be doing a job I love’
‘Why can’t I get more money?’
‘I want to be fairly remunerated for my contribution’
‘Why am I so stressed all the time?’
‘I want time to enjoy life more’
‘I Wish’ to ‘I Intend’
I intend to attract what I want and stop thinking about what I don’t want
I intend to feel confident and strong, communicating my ideas to others
I intend to attract stimulating and worthwhile projects that satisfy my desire to be productive and creative
I intend to build authentic relationships with those around me
I want you to think about asking for something in a way perhaps you haven’t before. Yes, asking is definitely about questions –the words you use and your skill around the science of questions, how you ask and types of questions.
Asking and GETTING is another matter. Success involves intention. Asking with the right amount of intention gets you better answers and improves your chances of success. I have met people who desire or wish for outcomes and do not feel like they deserve to have them. All the asking in the world won’t help them if they don’t feel like they deserve what they ask for.
Negotiation experts will tell you that often the best negotiators are those with the strongest intention. I have witnessed it for years of working with individuals and teams in high stakes situations. (I can tell almost from the first few moments of meeting them whether they have a good chance of winning) Their intention is strong because they have prepared well, know not only what they can give, but also what they can GET.
Here’s the rub; you must balance what you ask for, with letting it actually happen (feeling like you deserve it).
When you ask for what you want, clearly and confidently, and it is aligned with your intention is to allow it to happen (no blocks or doubts) is when asking takes on it’s real magic for you.